


Two Ghosts (One-Shot)

by MukeSinner



Series: Album One-Shots (H&L) [2]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: F/M, Heartbreak, M/M, Mentions of Death, Sad, Two Ghosts, don't hate me, harry loves Louis, larry - Freeform, mentions of cheating, our boys are falling apart
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-07
Updated: 2018-05-07
Packaged: 2019-05-03 11:22:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,963
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14567967
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MukeSinner/pseuds/MukeSinner
Summary: A One-shot of Two ghosts. This is entirely fiction, and I just enjoy writing fiction focusing around the boys songs I find to be most painful. Plan on a few more! :)





	Two Ghosts (One-Shot)

**Author's Note:**

> I AM BACKKK!!!! I plan on doing a few songs from Harry's album, and some of the one's Louis has released so far. I hope you enjoy! :)

Harry stood, guitar in hands and feet planted firmly on the ground, yet he still felt like he was swaying; that the feeling inside was causing his heart to thrash around within his ribcage. This was the first time performing this song live, and despite already knowing it was out, and the fans have heard it, he couldn’t stop the droplets of sweat that began to roll between his eyes.

The truth, the vulnerability, couldn’t be hidden now. He wasn’t in the safety of the recording booth, didn’t just have his microphone and guitar as company. Sure, other people had been there, but he had been alone in the room… Like he always seems to be. The glass was his wall, his protection, and he didn’t dare look up the entire time in fear he would see his reflection and dancing in his orbs, on full display for everyone; including himself, was the pain he couldn’t deny or hide when the truth was oozing from his lips.

_Same lips red, same eyes blue_

_Same white shirt, couple more tattoos_

_But it's not you and it's not me_

Louis looked the same, despite the years that have passed and the pressure he has been put under. His red lips still curled into that breathtaking smile when he caught sight of Harry, and those blue eyes have yet to lose their sparkle.. But it’s dulled, and he’s not the same. He’s Louis. He looks like him, and sounds like him, but he doesn’t smell like him, or love Harry like the old Louis used to.

The dreams, the promises, the plans, all have changed and with them went the love he once held for Harry. He claims nothing has changed, that they’re the same, that they will always be together and nothing will change that… But Briana hasn’t left the picture, and Freddie is still the wobbly legged infant that Harry last seen. Everything has changed.

_Tastes so sweet, looks so real_

_Sounds like something that I used to feel_

_But I can't touch what I see_

Nothing has changed for Harry, even when he was forced to forget his boyfriend had cheated on him. The admittance was like a cold slap to the face, followed by a bath of crystallized fire he couldn’t shake off.  _He wanted to be Briana._

He’s started to grow his hair out now, hoping Louis would return, that he will see the baby faced boy he had first met in X-factor…. And his nails. They’re never dull, even when he knows he has to make a public appearance. On those days, he does black…. But at home, he tries to match the current color of Briana’s.  _Should his nails be longer?_

Louis told him today that he loved him, even if Harry was singing the truth he wishes the man would forget about. He tried so hard to get Harry to take the song off the album, not wanting people to see the connections and believe they weren’t still the same Louis and Harry… But he couldn’t believe all the promises he had been told, couldn’t believe the soft whispers Louis was telling him, couldn’t let his heart wrap around all the ‘I love you’s’. Did he really love him, or was he just afraid to leave him? To leave Harry and chance making the band split permanently? It wasn’t like he ever touched him anymore, anyway.

_We're not who we used to be_ __  
_We're not who we used to be_ __  
_We're just two ghosts standing in the place of you and me_ _  
_ _Trying to remember how it feels to have a heartbeat_

Some days, he forgets he even has a heart. It’s echo is so hollow, so off rhythm and he can’t seem to remember how it’s supposed to sound until his ear is pressed against Louis’ chest. Despite the stiff arms and lingering perfume, Harry feels at home the most there. He was Louis’, and Louis was once his, but in that moment, with their heartbeats trying to sync to match one rhythm, they were each other’s.

The memories, the love they once felt for each other, was the only thing holding them together. They were trying to hide everything that was wrong, while trying to fight for the other…. And Louis’ chest seems to be a little too full lately, or at least Harry likes to imagine when all those secrets crack open his chest and finally spill out.

_The fridge light washes this room white_

_Moon dances over your good side_

_This was all we used to need_

Harry remembers the first night they had stayed together at their own flat. Louis had been excited, jumping all over the face as he kicked over boxes and talked Harry’s ear off about all the decorations he was going to hang up, and how Harry would be his in-home cook. He had managed to unpack a few boxes before he passed out on the couch, and left Harry to unpack.

It all seemed surreal to him as he moved from room to room, trying to hide his shaking hands and anxiety. They hadn’t told anyone yet, not even their mothers, and Harry had seemed to be the only one worried about what would happen when management found out. That fear fueled him, and he pushed through the house until he was left sitting in their bare kitchen, everything they had, which had been scarce then, shoved in the cupboards.

Louis, conveniently, found him a few minutes later, sleep still clinging to his eyes as he opened the fridge with a yawn. The moon, that had somehow managed to peak through the curtain Harry had fixed again and again, washed over his face and filtered through his sleep mused hair. The small giggle he got when Louis found him staring had made his heart flutter, and it was then Harry knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that he loved him, and that he would love him until his last breath.

Those days haunted him lately, reminding him how simple and innocent they used to be. Why couldn’t they go back to the two idiots who almost made out on the stairs during a live video, too lost in the other to care if they let their secrets out. The love had been so pure then, so real and so unforced. Now he just felt like a robot, a machine forcing itself to remember how it feels to actually love again.

_Tongue-tied like we've never known_

_Telling those stories we already told_

_'Cause we don't say what we really mean_

The first time Louis had set Harry down to talk about his changing feelings was only a few months after Jay had passed. He stuttered over his words, continuously promising Harry it wasn’t him and that it was just a faze he was going through. He had slept away for a few months, but kept up contact, trying to remind Harry everyday that he loved him and he would one day return the way he was.

Night after night he got drunk texts and high selfies, phone calls where the slurred words barely made any sense. Once, he mistaked Harry for Briana, even called out her name and slurred an ‘I love you’ before he caught himself and giggled breathlessly, claiming his brain was just jumbled and he had been thinking about Freddie.

His lies became more frequent, and after a few weeks, they were repeated. The stories he was feeding Harry became boring and bland, and by week five Harry could already guess what lie he was going to tell him that night before he even got the phone call or text. He wondered if Louis would ever return, if his boy truly meant what he was saying…

But then three months rolled around, and no sign.

_We're not who we used to be_

_We're not who we used to be_

_We're just two ghosts standing in the place of you and me_

_We're not who we used to be_

_We're not who we used to be_

_We're just two ghosts swimming in a glass half empty_

_Trying to remember how it feels to have a heartbeat_

It wasn’t until month five that he moved back in, claiming he was back to normal and that he needed Harry now. He felt like an item then, like a child was simply playing with him again because he had once been his favorite toy. Louis wasn’t a man in love with another man, he was a man in love with the idea of love, too afraid to let go of his childish crush because he had already made the commitment and couldn’t go through it again.

Yet Harry still loved him, so he let him back in, despite the ache reminding him he wasn’t anything to Louis. He was a ghost the man couldn’t let go of.

He forced himself to remember Louis had gone through something traumatic, that he just needed time, lots of love and patients and that if the roles were reversed, he knew Louis would understand and be there for him… and then Robin died.

Harry had been crushed. He couldn’t look his mum in the eye, couldn’t face her because they were both feeling the same pain. Harry may not have lost Louis physically, but he did in every other way and it was more painful watching the man you love move on without you, than to watch the man you love get buried in the ground… at least in his opinion it was, because Robin died loving his mum, and he knew she had no doubt of that.

Louis hadn’t been there for him, either. He tried to be. He tried so fucking hard to be that anchor for Harry, but he was simply a feather caught up in a windstorm, getting carried from place to place even if he wanted to stay put. And that was okay, wasn’t it? Harry understood, or at least pretended he did…. He doesn’t really know anymore, can’t remember what he had been feeling in those horribly long months that all blurred together in painful memories.

_Trying to remember how it feels to have a heartbeat_

_I'm just trying to remember how it feels to have a heartbeat_

And now, even with the knowledge that Louis didn’t want him anymore, and that he was planning on moving in with Brianna, or at least that’s the new rumour, Harry still lifted his glassy eyes and found those glossy blue one behind the stage, tears burning his cheeks like they wanted to do to Harry’s. The pain was evident in his smile, the heartbreak in his eyes, but he still  _loved_ him as strong and as fiercely as he did that first day. Did Louis know that? Or did he think the moment he lost his love for Harry, that Harry lost his too?

Harry was clinging to a popped boat, forcing lies into all the holes in hopes it would stay afloat. But with each patched hole, came three more and his head was barely peeking out from the water now, yet he still chose to stay and try, to rip that ruined, deflated boat out of the water and breathe some life back into it… Because maybe it was him that was afraid to let go. He could see how miserable Louis was, yet he held on. His fingers were growing red and raw, tired from all the mistreatment, and maybe, just maybe, it was his turn to set Louis free...

_“Going out every weekend_

_Staring at the stars or the ceiling_

_Hollywood friends, got to see them_

_Such a good time_

_I believe it this time”_


End file.
